absolute bliss, my life was a dream, I became so en- thralled by it all that I didn't realize that my two years in the Orient were fast drawing to a close. I began to panic, I didn't want to come back to the United States, I didn't want to lose my identity as Ann. In the last year in Japan, I had friends who knew only Ann, and many who knew only the American GI. It was a perfect existence. I was so fond of the status quo and so afraid of losing Ann that I asked permission to marry Chieko, the only person in the world who really understood and accepted both persons. This was met with stiff oppos- ition at command level, and one day I was given 24 hours to clear the base and fly back home for discharge. I was more than heartbroken, my whole life, my very existence, that had been so carefully arranged and car- ried out was exploding in my face. I became mentally and emotionally sickened, and even at times physically wretched. I returned to the United States, was dis- charged and left with my memories and heartbreak.

I resolved to go to college. I buried Ann Randall, going so far as to burn all my records, papers, pictures, et al. This was bitter reprisal for a world that neither understood nor cared about me or my problems. I att- acked the textbook and lost myself in study. For a short time (about a year and a half)all was quiet. Ex- cept, I could not go out with girls. When I did, I be- came violently ill. I was having deep emotional dis- turbances that became apparent whenever anything female or feminine happened. Whenever something even remotely reminded me of Japan or my life over there I would become depressed and moody.

After my Junior year, I resolved that I could not, and did not, bury Ann Randall and that I probably could never bury her. It was then that I caught an ad in Sexology Magazine that said, "The first full length book on Transvestism--Men in Female Dress, soon to be published." I wrote for a copy and waited 3 weeks until it was finally printed. This was it. This was me. There were others like me in the world. I was not alone.

After that I researched the medical and psychology libraries fully. I read everything that I could get my hands on that spoke of Transvestism or Eonism. I

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